How to Sing Confidently Even When You’re Nervous on Stage

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a meeting for our school’s parent group (kind of like what most people would call a PTA) when they started asking for volunteers to help run the talent show.

And I’m sitting there thinking, well… helping people perform is kind of what I do.

So of course I volunteered.

Now, I have a bad habit of overcommitting myself to basically everything. I coach the kids’ baseball teams, I help out with our homeschool club, and somehow I also ended up on the board of a nonprofit. So adding “help run the school talent show” to the list felt pretty on-brand for me.

What I didn’t fully realize at the time is that helping with the talent show meant four weeks of rehearsals, multiple three-hour practices, and two full performances.

But honestly? It ended up being one of the cutest things I’ve ever been part of.

It’s for TK through fifth grade, and every kid who tries out gets in. There are dancers, comedy bits, puppet shows, kids rapping, kids singing, kids playing piano and guitar.

My son Hudson even played a song on the clarinet, which was unbelievably cute.

And while I’m helping run rehearsals, I start noticing something.

A lot of the singers are really nervous.

Which makes sense. Most of them are pretty young and haven’t taken voice lessons yet. They’re shy behind the microphone. Some of them are barely singing loud enough for anyone to hear.

And if you’ve ever been a nervous singer before, you probably know that feeling.

So naturally I did what I always do.

I filled my purse with Singing Straws™ and brought them to rehearsal.

Whenever one of the singers seemed nervous or tight, I’d pull one out and show them how to use it. A few of them even wanted to do little mini voice lessons backstage.

And that’s where this story really starts.

The Shy Singer

There was one singer in particular (a fifth grader) who had a really beautiful voice.

You could hear it right away.

But she was incredibly shy.

During rehearsal she was singing so quietly you could barely hear her, and she seemed frustrated with the song she had chosen.

After one rehearsal she came up to me and said something like, “I just don’t like the song I’m doing.”

Now at this point we’re a week away from the performance, which is not exactly the ideal moment to switch songs.

But I could tell there was something really special in her voice.

So I talked to her mom and said, “What if she comes over for a quick lesson? We’ll just spend thirty minutes figuring out what she wants to sing.”

Her mom brought her over, and she was still really nervous. So after a few minutes her mom stepped out, which honestly helps a lot because kids tend to relax more when they feel a little independent.

We started exploring songs she might already know.

Because when you’re a week away from performing, the goal isn’t to learn something complicated.

The goal is to find something that already feels comfortable.

Eventually we realized she knew Rainbow Connection.

You know the one.

“Why are there so many songs about rainbows…”

We couldn’t find a track she liked, so I just sat down at the piano and started playing the chords for her.

And slowly she started to come out of her shell.

At first she was really quiet.

Then she started singing a little stronger.

And suddenly you could hear this beautiful tone start to come through.

I remember thinking, Oh my gosh. This voice is gorgeous.

When we finished she looked at me and said, “Well… what am I going to sing with?”

I suggested we find a track.

She paused for a second and said, “Can you just play the piano for me?”

Now… I am not exactly a concert pianist.

But at this point I was already invested.

So I said, “Sure. I’ll play for you.”

The Microphone Moment

Then, the night of the talent show arrives.

There are two performances — one in the evening for parents and another during the school day for the entire school.

So we walk out on stage for the evening performance.

I start playing.

She starts singing.

And within about five seconds I realize something is very wrong.

I can see her singing.

But I cannot hear her.

At all.

I glance over toward the volunteer running sound.

The microphone isn’t on.

So this poor kid is up there singing her heart out and the audience is hearing absolutely nothing.

I try making eye contact with the volunteer.

Nothing.

So finally I stop playing and say, “Let’s try that again.”

I walk over, turn the microphone on, make a little joke to the audience so everyone relaxes, and we start over.

And this time…

She sings BEAUTIFULLY .

The whole room gets quiet in that way audiences do when they realize something special is happening.

I was so proud of her.

The Next Performance

Two days later we come back for the daytime performance at school.

And the organizer pulls me aside and says, “Oh… she doesn’t want to perform today.”

Apparently she overheard a couple girls making fun of her after the evening show.

Which honestly broke my heart a little.

So I went over and sat down next to her.

And I told her something I really believe as both a performer and a teacher.

Anyone who is brave enough to get up on that stage and sing is never going to make fun of you.

The only people who do that are the ones who aren’t brave enough to get up there themselves.

So their opinion really doesn’t matter.

I told her there was absolutely no pressure.

If she didn’t want to do it, that was completely okay.

But if she did want to sing, I’d be right there playing for her.

She sat quietly for about thirty seconds.

Then she said, “I want to do it.”

So she walked out on that stage in front of her entire school…

And she sang.

And she did beautifully.

Why I Love Working With Singers

That moment right there is why I love working with singers.

Singing isn’t just about technique or hitting the right notes.

It’s about confidence.

It’s about feeling safe enough in your voice to share it with other people.

And sometimes all a singer needs is a few simple tools that help their voice feel easier and more reliable.

That’s one of the reasons I love straw phonation and why I created Singing Straws™.

When singers warm up through a straw, it helps the voice find a healthy balance of airflow and vocal cord closure. The voice often feels easier to produce, more stable, and less strained.

And when the voice feels easier?

Confidence tends to follow.

Which is exactly what happened with that shy fifth grader.

She found a song she loved.

She warmed up her voice.

She stepped onto a stage.

And she sang.

If You're A Shy Singer

If you’ve ever felt nervous about singing in front of people, you’re definitely not alone.

Even experienced performers still feel those nerves before stepping on stage.

The goal isn’t to eliminate nerves completely.

The goal is to build a voice that feels balanced, supported, and reliable so you can trust it when those moments come.

And sometimes the smallest tools can make the biggest difference.

That’s exactly why I always keep a few Singing Straws in my bag.

Because you never know when a singer might need one.

And sometimes all it takes is a little encouragement, a warm-up straw, and a brave decision to step back onto the stage.